


It has to be you

by ImPanDuh



Series: Autistic! Langa and ADHD! Reki [2]
Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: ADHD Kyan Reki, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autistic Hasegawa Langa, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, I make the rules, Love Confessions, M/M, Meltdown, Pre-Relationship, autistic author, because there’s at least one closeup of their hands each episode, ep7 just broke us all huh, i wrote this in one sitting, no beta we die like sk8 fans after ep 7, overload
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29694375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImPanDuh/pseuds/ImPanDuh
Summary: It was sofrustrating. He didn’t know how to say what he was feeling, what he wanted. Rekialwaysknew. Reki understood.But Reki wasn’t here!akaLanga has an overload and doesn’t know how to deal with them without Reki anymore
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Series: Autistic! Langa and ADHD! Reki [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2185944
Comments: 30
Kudos: 671





	It has to be you

**Author's Note:**

> Langa really just looks at Reki like he put the stars in the sky himself and Reki still doubts himself, huh

Langa breathed in deeply, letting out a shuddering breath. He tugged on his fingers, noticing the oncoming overload. They used to be harder to spot, but Reki had helped him, always noticed them before even Langa did; helping him prevent them. _But Reki wasn’t here._ Langa hadn’t seen him in _three days._

He wanted to call out to Cherry or Miya next to him at the remote skate park they chose to practice on their free day, but his throat tightened up. Nothing came out of his open mouth. He frowned, frustrated, tugging harder on his fingers, pressing a thumb harshly into the middle of his inner palm. 

Miya’s video game was making weird noises. He couldn’t stand it. It was terrible. _Reki would have told him to mute it by now._ Where was Reki? Why wasn’t he here? Why wasn’t he holding Langas hands? Why wasn’t he letting Langa stim with his hands, the perfect texture, smooth on top, calloused and scratched up inner palms, the perfect size for Langa to hold onto. _Why? Why? Why? Reki? Reki? Reki!_

He was acutely aware of Cherry standing up, asking him if he was okay. The sound of his shoes across the pavement, the slow roll of Carlas wheels as the board moved when Cherry got off it. Miya’s game console clicking as he saved and shut it off. Miya’s clothes shifting as he adjusted his position to face him. 

Cherry repeated his question, hand hovering over his shoulder as he waited for permission to touch and that was almost worse. The _almost_ contact, the space between them becoming palpable. Langa scratched at his palms; it stung. He ducked away and the hand retreated. Langa uselessly tried to talk again, answer the question, but only air came out. Not even a sob or _any_ sound. It was so _frustrating_. He didn’t know how to say what he was feeling, what he wanted. Reki _always_ knew. Reki understood. _But Reki wasn’t here!_

Langa shook his head, curling up further, drawing his knees close to his chest. He continued to scratch at his hand, picking at the scabs from skateboarding. Reki would scold him. 

He watched from the corner of his vision how Miya shoved Cherry to the side, taking place in front of him instead. Miya held his hands out, palms up. “That’s what Reki always does, right?”, upon that invitation, Langas hands reached out fast, grabbing onto Miya’s. They were so small, _they weren’t Rekis_. Still, he tried, rubbing his thumbs into the skin, but Miya’s hands were so, so _small,_ his own seemed to swallow them up. It was wrong. _It wasn’t Reki._

He dropped Miya’s hands, retreated back into himself, rubbing and picking at his own hands again. He shook his head, hair flying around, tickling his face. He choked out a groan, tugging his hair back harshly. Miya gently grabbed his wrists, stopping him from ripping his own hair out. Langa sobbed, shaking Miya’s hands off him. 

“Is there any way we can help you? Should we call your mother?”, Cherry asked again. Langa quickly shook his head. His mother had work, he couldn’t bother her, her job was important, more important than this. He didn’t know what he needed. Reki always knew what he needed. Why wasn’t Reki here? Reki... Reki...

_Reki hated him._

_Reki didn’t want to be with him anymore._

Langa felt his eyes burn, tears building up, but he knew wouldn’t fall. Maybe it’d be easier if he could just cry. 

“ _Reki..._ ”, he managed to choke out, and it was almost relieving. It cleared his throat for a moment, before it tightened up worse. His shoulders hitched up, shaking as he tried to breathe evenly. His nose was clogging up with snot and it was so hard to breathe. He opened his mouth instead, sobbing and wheezing. 

Langa noticed Cherry walk away to call someone, but he couldn’t possibly concentrate enough anymore to listen to words. 

_Reki Reki Reki Reki_

_Why didn’t he want to be by Langas side anymore? Was it because of Adam? Was the promise that important to him? He wanted to skate against Adam so badly, why was that so wrong? Would Reki leave him? He didn’t want to be without Reki, he didn’t know what to do without Reki anymore. He was completely useless without him. He wanted Reki by his side. He_ needed _Reki by his side. Why weren’t they a good match anymore? He loved Reki so much, why would Reki say those things? Skating was no fun without Reki._ Please _come back, Reki!_

Rekis hands stopped him from scratching his palms open further. Langas eyes widened and he latched onto those hands with an iron grip, digging his fingers in. He looked up to meet Rekis golden eyes. They looked so dull, heavy bags under them and tear tracks burned into his cheeks. 

“Hey...”, Rekis voice was strained and hoarse, “Cherry called me and said you’re having an overload” Langa felt his eyes tear up. _Reki came, Reki came, Reki came._ Reki came, even though he was mad at him, even though he was feeling so bad himself, even though Langa thought about breaking their promise. 

Rekis squeezed his hands back. “Do you want me to-“, Langa pulled on his hands, pulling him into his lap. Reki stumbled, gasping in surprise. His board that he was sitting on shifted a little from the sudden motion, but he righted it quickly. Reki got the message, adjusting his position to sit back to chest between Langas legs. Langa draped himself over Rekis back, putting his whole weight on him, the way he knew it calmed Reki. He buried his face in Rekis hair, it was a bit sticky. Had Reki not been able to shower the last days? Rekis hands going pliant in his grip as he slowly rubbed circles into the skin, making sure his touch was firm, aware how much light touches upset Reki. 

Langa felt them both relax, everything slowly shifting back into proper focus as he consciously copied Rekis breathing. Both of them went slack, leaning into each other, holding each other up. 

“Are you better now?”, Rekis voice was unusually quiet, Langa had to strain to hear him despite their proximity. He hummed an affirmative, but made no move to break their position. Reki was the one who shifted, trying to break free, but Langa tightened his hold. He couldn’t let him go, _not again._

“I’m sorry”, he choked out, talking was still so difficult. It was draining to get those words out. He didn’t know what he did, but he’d do anything to keep Reki right there. 

“It’s not your fault...”, Reki murmured, words blurring together. He squeezed Langas hands, pressing back into his chest. 

“Then what’s wrong? I’m not as good at... _this_ as you are, so please tell me how I can help you...”, it was tiring to talk, but Cherry and Miya were out of hearing range, so knowing only Reki could hear him made it easier. Reki tensed up against him, before his body went lax and his head dropped on Langas shoulder. Langa intertwined their fingers. 

“I- I can’t keep up with you guys. I can’t jump as high as you, I don’t have Cherrys precision, Joes strength or Miya’s talent. I can’t compete with Shadow either...”, Reki rested his cheek on his shoulder. He took a deep shuddering breath. Langa freed a hand to press it against Rekis sternum, helping him ground himself. 

“ _I don’t deserve to be by your side...”_

Langas eyes widened. He pressed his hand harder against Rekis chest, squeezing his hand, burying his face in Rekis neck. 

“You don’t need to _deserve_ to be by my side. I _want_ you there- I _need_ you there... isn’t that enough?”

Langa felt tears wetting his cheek, before Reki moved to twist around and bury his face in Langas chest, clinging to the back of his shirt. 

“Are you sure? You won’t get tired of me?”

Langa held tightly onto Reki, pressing him close, burying his face in Rekis hair again. 

“I’m sure. I will keep my promise, so please never leave my side again”

Reki laughed weakly. “That sounds like a proposal”, he joked and Langa felt his heart swell. Rekis voice, his laugh was the best sound he ever heard. 

“Well, I _do_ love you, so...”, he blushed slightly, nuzzling Rekis hair. Reki tensed up. 

“Eh?”

“Oh, uh... well, I-“

“ _I love you too...”_

**Author's Note:**

> (Remember that restraining someone having an overload/meltdown/anything similar isn’t good and Miya gripping Langas hands is him being 14 and inexperienced because Langa and Reki always took care of each other. Reki knows Langa and his overloads and is just holding his hands)
> 
> The confession is rushed but it’s okay because everyone in this fandom is emotional right now.


End file.
